Living Loud (or at Least Louder)

liveoutloudFirst, I’d like to offer up this public service announcement on behalf of me:

BIG NEWS! I received my first pre-pub review! Kirkus Reviews says:

“In her moody debut, Alber skillfully uses many shades of gray to draw complex characters who discover how cruel love can be.”

You can find the whole review here:

So what about the new year and resolutions and all that stuff?

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about — I want to live louder. I’m a quiet person. I feel like I tip-toe around trying not to be seen too much. Does this stem from being a perpetual observer? Maybe. Does it come from getting teased as a kid when I stood out TOO much? Possibly.

Reasons aside, I realized last week that even in my own home I’m too quiet. And I realized this is because I’ve lived in community housing (apartments, now a condo) for most of my adult life. I try to be considerate of those around me, keeping my noise levels down. Also, I’m a private person so I don’t want my next-door neighbors to catch a drift of what dopey television show or B-movie I’m watching. That’s my business.

But then, like I started to write, last week I realized that somewhere along the way I stopped listening to music. When did that happen? When did I get so concerned about my noise levels that I stopped caring for MY well being in MY OWN home.

Screw that, I thought, and promptly turned Pandora on to the Brazilian station. I didn’t blast the music — I wouldn’t do that — but I let go of the notion that my neighbors might just catch whiffs of the music. I mean, they don’t live their lives concerned about me. I hear them when they celebrate a new developmental step that their toddler has taken. Does it annoy me? Sure, at times. But, hey, my neighbors are nice people, and I do live in a cheaply made condo at the moment …

The point is that I need to ensure my own happiness and balance that with consideration for others. So, music it is. Music helps me settle into tasks and writing and just feeling good.

This living more loudly thing also pertains to the book launch. I could go on and on about what an introvert I am and how much I’d prefer not to be the center of attention. But I won’t. Suffice to say that yesterday I finally got over a barrier of my own making and started organizing my KILMOON launch party. Yes, I will be the center of attention and I will stand before a crowd and say some words.

That’s a huge step in the living louder department. At least for me.

What about you? How would you like to stretch your personal comfort zone? What aspects of your well being do you need to work on?


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