Last week a funny thing happened on the way to getting smarter: I threw out my neck. What started as a “super brain” yoga pose ended up with me rushing to my doctor for muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatories, and later catching up on my “Sex and the City” reruns.
My friends used to say I was the most like Miranda. She was the least likeable character, I thought. The most driven, the most likely to get in everybody’s faces about their stupid decisions, the worst dressed … sigh … But since I’m not a fashionista or a sexaholic or a prim WASP — guess that left Miranda.
As luck would have it, the episode where Miranda throws out her neck came on. OOOH, I AM MIRANDA! (Thankfully, my BFF’s cute boyfriend didn’t have to pick my naked self up off the bathroom floor.) I remembered watching that episode way back in 2001 or 2002 or whenever it first aired and thinking, That’s weird; necks go out the way backs do? Seemed pretty farfetched that it would be sooo painful and that Miranda would be thaaaat incapacitated.
Now I realize that I’ve been taking my neck for granted. Without our necks, we’d just lie around like blobs, which is what I did for days. The first morning after my neck went out, I couldn’t get out of bed. I kid you not. I squirmed around for an hour trying to figure out how to get up without using my neck muscles. I ended up bunching the pillow under my neck and head and then holding the weight of my head in my hands as I rose. It was still excruciating and I whimpered, but I managed to make it to the couch with my medications.
So here I give you five reasons we should not take our necks for granted:
1. As a conduit through which water, food, and air pass — kind of important.
2. If you can’t turn your head, you can’t drive. No freedom! No midnight MickyD runs! No book stores!
3. A life without necklaces and scarves? I think not.
4. That classic right of passage, the hickey. Gotta be on your neck — gotta be. Otherwise where’s all the delicious adolescent humiliation-pride?
Fun and games aside, how’s my writing, you ask? See the PLOT PERFECT book on the coffee table? Yeah, I didn’t open it. At all. Back to it this week!
So, when’s the last time your body turned traitor on you? Which SATC character are you–or, if you’d like, which would you sleep with?