Oscar night for movie and fashion fans is like the Super Bowl for football fans. There’s tons of hype, people throw parties and often dress up, and emotions can run high. The events inspire staycation days in which you’re likely to blow off the normal Sunday errand running and housecleaning and whatever-ing. Also, you might expect to return to work on Monday a tad — or more than a tad — overtired or … eh-hem … hungover?
If you’re not into the Oscars or the Super Bowl, you’ll find stores and restaurants refreshingly half-empty. For example, I went to the Container Store on Saturday — parking lot packed — and when I returned on Oscar Sunday I had my pick of parking spots. (The Container Story, you ask? Stay tuned for a future blog post about my on-going battle with purging and re-organizing.)
Oscar parties are similar to Super Bowl parties in many ways too. Drinking and eating aside, you’ve got the hard-core fans who only come up for air during commercials. They pay attention to every detail of every play (Super Bowl) or outfit (Oscars), and you’d better keep your voice down when the especially exciting bits occur. Penalty kick! Lady Gaga singing “The Sound of Music”!
At both types of parties you’ve also got people more like me: those who want to eat, drink, talk, drink, and pay attention only when a “squirrel!” moment airs. During last night’s Oscars, Lady Gaga was a squirrel moment. So was emcee Doogie Howser’s (what the heck’s his name again?) tighty whities … I spent the Oscars with my neighbors D and J (J, I know you’re reading this right now!), and we discussed whether that was all Doogie in them thar tighty whities. He certainly had a photogenic … uhm … profile as he stood on stage introducing the next presenters.
Uhm … Where was I? Oh yeah, this brings me to another similarity between the two parties: analysis. Super Bowl: analyzing the plays and calls. Oscars: analyzing fashions, bad plastic surgery, and good plastic surgery about to go bad (Nicole Kidman, please stop now), and everything from J-Lo’s good-looking cleavage to acceptance speeches that turn into political statements to Sean Penn’s nose.
Frankly, isn’t that half the fun of watching the Oscars? Or the Super Bowl for that matter? Whether it’s an idiotic fumble or an idiotic acceptance speech, who doesn’t like to get a little snarky? It’s a nice way to blow off steam in our Land of the Politically Correct At All Times.
Here are some lingering thoughts (besides Lady Gaga’s stellar performance and Doogie’s stellar profile). Don’t know enough about football to draw parallels with the Super Bowl, but I’ll try:
1. Chris Pine and Channing Tatum — what the … ? For one thing, they’re so homogenously pretty that I get them confused. And another, ARE they a big deal? J, who is 28, suggested I think of them as the equivalent of Brad Pitt and George Clooney back in their younger heyday. OOOOHHHH. Pine and Tatum now make sense to me.
(These guys are like rookies, maybe? And we wonder if they’re flash in the pans or the real deal?)
2. My theory about winners proved true once again! That is, when a nominated best actor/actress plays a character with a debilitating/chronic/fatal disease, that actor wins. Hence, Eddie Redmayne playing Stephen Hawking and Julianne Moore playing a woman with Alzheimer’s. (Love them both, by the way.)
- More debilitating disease examples: Tom Hanks for “Philadelphia” and Matthew McConaughey for “Dallas Buyers Club.”
- This theory also holds for developmental disabilities: Dustin Hoffman for “Rain Man” and Tom Hanks for “Forrest Gump.”
- And for physical limitations: Colin Firth for “The King’s Speech” and Daniel Day-Lewis for “My Left Foot” and Al Pacino for “Scent of a Woman.”
- And I bet mental illnesses including tragically addictive behaviors fit this theory too: Nicolas Cage for “Leaving Las Vegas.”
Interesting. Actors popped into my head, so I looked up Best Actress winners on Wikipedia. Don’t seem to be as many of these types of meaty roles for women. Boo. Hiss. But Charlize Theron for “Monster” pops out.
(Football fans have theories about winning strategies, right?)
3. J.K. Simmons and Patricia Arquette. I love that these two won. They’ve been around for a long time, doing their acting thing — I’m just glad they won, that’s all.
(Football players who plug along until they finally get their MVP or Hall of Fame recognitions.)
So that’s my Oscars re-cap. I can’t believe I care enough to have opinions, much less to bring Super Bowl parallels into it. I’ve never watched a Super Bowl in my life!
Did you watch the Oscars last night? What were your highlights, lowlights, snarky reactions, and discussion-worth moments? Best dressed? Worst dressed?